Nasty Little Secrets

I've spent a bit of time on the WW forums this week and stumbled across a post and blog about eating secrets.

This got me thinking, and what I came up with was rather confronting to admit.

Pre WW I would often sneak into the cupboard late at night to find things to eat. I could eat a block of chocolate in a sitting, but then go and buy another one to replace it so Sam wouldn't find out.

There would be take away food while I was out, only to come home and eat again, or snack bars hidden in pockets and eaten in secret, because obviously if no one saw me eat it then it didn't really count!

I could eat another serving of dinner just packing up any leftovers, and a BLT (bite lick and taste) here and there didn't really count,and who could forget pouring cream on to my cereal in the morning before Sam was downstairs so he wouldn't realise it wasn't just milk I was having.

I was a great eater in front of people, I would eat good portion sizes, healthy food (mostly) but then I would continue with this secret eating.

Then the guilt and shame follows, usually followed by an outburst of anger when none of my clothes would fit properly, which was then followed by sitting and crying and feeling sorry for myself.

The confronting thing is that I STILL struggle with this, I can still go rummaging in the pantry at all hours of the evening and stand in the kitchen and eat something while Sam is unaware in the lounge room. It doesn't happen as often, but if i'm having a difficult time emotionally I know I go back to these habits. I do track these little meltodowns and keep accountable for them, but I tell you that does nothing to get rid of the guilt associated with it, regardless of whether I am within my daily/weekly propoints or not.

So, there you have it, some of my nasty little secrets .. what are yours? what have you overcome? what "secrets" do you still struggle with?